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During Colin Farrell's obscenity-laced
appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, I heard him compare acting
to "chasing something you'll never catch" and that he feels he
is "never happy" with the end product. Looks like Colin is
still chasing. And he must not be happy. Because after what I saw in the
theatre a week ago, there is not going to be too many happy people with
his latest project. S.W.A.T. was boring. And watching Colin painfully
promote this movie, you could almost tell he knows it. In fact, when
someone suggested the movie was one of the summer's big action movies,
Farrell himself downgraded the movie to nothing more than your average
popcorn flick. Not a very convincing plug from the movie's biggest star.
I saw him on Leno. I saw him on Letterman. Colin was not a happy person.
In S.W.A.T., Farrell plays Jim Street, a former member of a S.W.A.T.
team who was demoted for reckless behavior. A new team is being formed
by the tough as nails commander, Lieutenant "Hondo" (Samuel
Jackson) and Street is recruited to join Michelle Rodriguez, LL Cool J
and a couple of other dudes. After spending nearly half the movie
training the new recruits, the team is assigned to transfer an
international thug (Olivier Martinez) to a federal prison (but not
before they're asked to take down a gun-wielding Polish guy, which they
do in a scene that has about as much excitement as the movie The Mirror
Has Two Faces). The problem is that the thug, much like Dr. Evil from
the Austin Powers' movies, has offered anyone in the world a large sum
of money if they break him out of prison. He offers $100 million. Dr.
Evil tried to bribe the U.S. government for $1 million and still, that
was more believable.
I'm not too sure why S.W.A.T. didn't quite do it for me. I like Colin
Farrell. I like Sam Jackson. Unfortunately, they are both on terrible
streaks when it comes to movies. Jackson with xXx, Basic and Changing
Lanes. Farrell with almost everything he has made besides Tigerland
(because I have never seen it) and Minority Report. Maybe that's why
Farrell has been such an angry young man on the talk show circuit as of
late. Maybe I didn't like the movie because of Olivier Martinez. Is it
possible that I am still bitter at him because he played such a slimy
weasel in Unfaithful?
Usually Jackson can carry a movie. He drops a couple of "mother
fuckers" here and a "fuck you" there and we forget about
anything that might be going on in the entire movie. Sometimes Farrell
has enough charm to at least make you like a movie a little bit. Neither
of them could do anything to save S.W.A.T. In fact, both of these guys
seemed to mail in their performances with this one. The movie is
basically an opening scene shootout that is okay; a big, long boring
training session capped off by an unexciting test involving a mock airliner
hijacking; a supposed romance that goes nowhere and God only knows why
it is even in the movie; and the transportation of the "Frech Brad
Pitt" (whatever, you weasel) to a jail that is more Hollywood than
the latest episode of WWE wrestling. There are no memorable lines, no
memorable scenes or no memorable characters. It doesn't bother me to sit
through a mindless action flick. I liked 2 Fast 2 Furious. I thought Bad
Boys 2 was okay. S.W.A.T. is not nearly as entertaining as either of
these movie. It's plain and simple. S.W.A.T. is B.A.D.
 
- 4/10
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Brendan Cullin - Senior Editor
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