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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Platinum Series Collector's Edition
(New Line Home Entertainment)
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| DVD Release Date:
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March 30, 2004
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| Length:
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98 mins.
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| Rated:
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R
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| Format:
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Anamorphic Widescreen (1.85:1)
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| Audio:
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DTS ES Surround, Dolby Digital EX 5.1
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| Subtitles:
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English, Closed Captioned
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| Extras:
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3 Filmmaker Commentaries with Michael Bay, Director Marcus Nispel and more, Deleted Scenes, Alternate Opening and Ending, Chainsaw Redux: In-Depth "Making of the Film" Documentary, Gein: The Ghoul of Plainfield Documentary, Cast Screen Tests, Crime Scene Photos, Art Galleries, Original Theatrical Trailer, 7 TV Spots, Music Video - Motograter "Suffocate", Collectible Metal Plaque Cover
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Producer Michael Bay's and director Marcus Nispel's 2003 version of the cult classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, was a very controversial undertaking. Should it be put in the hands of Michael Bay, a man notorious for making very loud movies (Bad Boys II) and Marcus Nispel, a man who never actually made a feature film? And how dare they even touch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a movie considered by some to be the greatest pure horror flick of all-time. Well, after finally getting a chance to see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the newly released 2-disc DVD set, I must conclude that Bay, Nispel and everyone else involved in the movie did not do too bad of a job at all. Mind you, it has been years since I saw the original Chainsaw Massacre. I barely remember it and really must check it out again someday. But as a stand alone horror movie, the new Chainsaw Massacre is decent.
The story centers on five young adults who are on their way back from Mexico and end up on a dirt road in the middle of Butt-Fuck Idaho, which ironically, is located somewhere in the state of Texas. It is a place where your mother's brother is also your brother's sister's grandmother. It is a place where you can get married five times and still have the same in-laws. It is a place where your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart Shoppers". It is a place where - make sense? I hope not. Anyways, to make a long story short, the kids find themselves outside an abandoned-looking old house that isn't actually abandoned because it is filled with legless old men, toothless old ladies, a few chickens and pigs and a mean old son-of-a-bitch named Leatherface. And worst of all, Leatherface has a tiny chip on his shoulder that causes him to chase people around with a massive chainsaw, cut off their limbs and peel off their skin to make himself nice masks and outfits and tiny ornaments and decorations. So what ensues is Leatherface chasing around the kids, cutting off their limbs and we are all supposed to scream. I have to admit, I did scream a few times. I wasn't like AHHHHHHH!!!!. I was more like AH! AH! AHHH! The movie does have a few shit-your-pants moments. Like when Leatherface turns around and has on one of the faces of the kids that he made into a mask.
Overall, I would say that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was a decent horror film. It was relatively gory, sometimes scary and Jessica Biel was absolutely stunning in that white tank top (and might I add, and most importantly, bra-less!). I was not blown away by this new version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But I certainly found the movie mildly entertaining and I had a better appreciation for the movie after listening to Marcus Nispel talking about it.
As for the loads of extras on the DVDs? First, I'll start with the commentaries. They were as follows:
1) Audio Essay # 1 - Production
Marcus Nispel (Director), Michael Bay (Producer), Andrew Form (Executive Producer), Brad Fuller (Executive Producer), Robert Shaye (Co-Chairman/Co-CEO New Line Cinema)
2) Audio Essay # 2 - Technical
Marcus Nispel, Daniel Pearl (Cinematographer), Greg Blair (Production Designer), Scott Gallagher (Art Director), Trevor Jolly (Supervising Sound Editor), Steve Jablonsky (Composer)
3) Audio Essay #3 - Story
Marcus Nispel, Michael Bay, Scott Kosar (Screenwriter), Brad Fuller, Andrew Form, Jessica Biel ("Erin"), Erica Leerhesen ("Pepper"), Eric Balfour ("Kemper"), Jonathan Tucker ("Morgan"), Mike Vogel ("Andy"), Andrew Bryniarski ("Leatherface")
I don't like commentaries. I can listen to one commentary. When I find out there are three, I feel like making a mask out of human flesh, grabbing a chainsaw, killing a few young punks and spending the rest of my pathetic life in prison rather than listening to three commentaries. Nevertheless, I did it. I listened to every single last draining word. They were okay, I suppose. I am about 99% sure that not one of the commentaries actually had any of the commentators in the same room together. It seems as if they were just given a list of subjects on which they were asked for their opinion and these opinions were integrated into three separate commentaries. At least one person seemed as if they were talking on a cell phone or a payphone or something like that. Nispel was the most interesting of the talkers. He was extremely knowledgeable on the movie and you really get the impression that he worked his German ass off on this movie. I enjoyed listening to him talk about how some people involved in the movie went around to various theatres to watch the crowd watching the movie. I enjoyed listening to New Line CEO Robert Shaye - he had an interesting take on movie-making and money-making. I enjoyed listening to Leatherface. I enjoyed watching Jessica Biel's boobies bounce across the screen during three different commentaries. Overall, the commentaries were decent, but I would still rather rot in prison than have to listen to all three again.
Next we have "The Production" section, which includes the following:
- "Severed Parts: Deleted Scenes" is seven deleted scenes that can be watched individually or in documentary style with comments from Marcus Nispel. Among the deleted scenes are an alternate opening and an alternate ending. All seven scenes were very good and definitely worth checking out.
- "Screen Tests" for Jessica Biel, Eric Balfour and Erica Leerhsen. Leerhsen's scream is priceless.
- "Chainsaw Redux: Making a Massacre" is a rather lengthy documentary (1 hour 16 minutes) on the making of this movie. It is long, it is detailed and it is another interesting extra that has been added to this DVD. There are comments by many of the cast and crew, footage from the original TCM, behind-the-scene comments and fans reacting to the idea of a TCM remake. It really looks like the cast and crew of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre had fun and worked hard. Is that even possible?
- "Galleries" - This is broken down into "Production Concept Art by Scott Gallagher" and "Leatherface Concept Art by Scott Stoddard". Not really anything that interests me but I am sure there are people out there who would enjoy.
Next up is "Ed Gein: The Ghoul of Plainville". This documentary is 24 minutes on the life of the scumbag who inspired the story of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. TCM is not a true story, contrary to popular belief. But the story of Gein did inspire a handful of movies that you may have heard about - Psycho, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (new and old) and Silence of the Lambs. His story is remarkable, disturbing and in some ways depressing in that such a dirt bag was able to finish his life with an almost "happily ever after" ending. He really should have lived the last ten years of his life with a pitbull clamped to his balls and a giant shoehorn shoved up his ass and not dying peacefully in some mental ward.
"Publicity and Promotion" shows Michael Bay's Teaser Trailer, the Original Theatrical Trailer, seven TV Spots, a music video by Motograter called "Suffocate" and some additional New Line trailers, including ""Highwaymen", "Willard", "The Butterfly Effect" and "Ripley's Game".
The DVD also includes some DVD-ROM/Online Features, cards with pictures of crime scene photos and a metal face plate for the movie.
Overall, I would say that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre DVD set is a good movie with excellent bonus features. After watching the extras, you should be more appreciative of the movie. If you are a horror movie buff, get The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. If you are a fan of Ed Gein, get this DVD you sick piece of shit. If you are a fan of Jessica Biel, run to your nearest video store and buy this movie now. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was a good risk for everyone involved.
| The Movie: |
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6.5/10 |
| The Extras: |
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8.5/10 |
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