Movie Review #2: Poseidon
What is it with Wolfgang Petersen and water? The director has given us such ocean-based movies as Das Boot and The Perfect Storm. Now Petersen caps off his soaking-wet trilogy with Poseidon. Poseidon is a big budget remake of the 1972 Irwin Allen disaster flick The Poseidon Adventure. The story is simple. A massive cruise ship capsizes after being hit by a rogue wave and a rag-tag group of survivors must fight to escape from the overturned ship. Like all good disaster movies, Poseidon sticks to the genre conventions – cookie cutter characters, panicky idiots, little or no plot development and as much action as possible. Poseidon certainly doesn’t let down in the action department, but it’s hard to care about characters you hardly know.
Poseidon will most likely be a breakthrough role for Josh Lucas. Lucas plays a professional gambler traveling on the cruise ship Poseidon, trying to hustle rich people out of their money through high stakes poker. That’s all you really know about the character, and then the wave hits. It’s not much, but Lucas gives a good performance, the first of many for him, I’m sure. Poseidon is also a second wind of sorts for Kurt Russell and Richard Dreyfuss. Both actors have not starred in Hollywood blockbusters for several decades. They both do well with what they’re given. Kurt Russell plays the heroic former firefighter and leader of the survivors. Richard Dreyfuss plays a suicidal man who finds a reason to live in helping the other survivors escape. Again, that is about as much character information as you get from the movie. Lastly, I would be loath to forget the lovely Emmy Rossum, who plays Kurt Russell’s daughter in the film. She played Jake Gyllenhaal’s love interest in The Day After Tomorrow, so she’s no stranger to the disaster movie genre. I’d be lying if I said her cleavage in the film didn’t provide a pleasant distraction from all the death and drowning.
The effects and action sequences are top notch. (I would expect no less from a movie budgeted at a rumoured $140 million dollars!) When the rogue wave capsizes the ship, it has to be one of the more impressive effects sequences ever put on film. There is really nothing to complain about in respect to the action – it’s the character development that falls flat in Poseidon. If you don’t know anything about a character beyond the obvious, you’re not likely to care when they meet their untimely demise. Main characters drop like flies in Poseidon, and I found myself unmoved by their always gruesome fates. That being said, you’re not going to see Poseidon for deep plot and character development – you’re there to see a cruise ship capsize and the survivors deal with the aftermath.
If you enjoyed such original Irwin Allen disaster movies as The Poseidon Adventure and The Towering Inferno then you’ll love Wolfgang Petersen’s Poseidon. If you also enjoy destruction and mayhem on a cruise ship wide scale, you’ll like what this movie has to offer. Petersen puts his band of survivors through hell, and it’s all for your entertainment. Poseidon is most definitely an entertaining movie. Just don’t expect subtle character development and an exacting plot – just a lot of water and explosions. (6.5 out of 10)
Movie Review: The Skeleton Key
The Skeleton Key is yet another film in a long line of subpar horror/thriller films we’ve seen in the past few years.
Kate Hudson stars as Caroline, a disenchanted New Orleans hospice worker. Looking for a change of pace, Caroline takes a job at a rural Louisiana estate caring for Ben Devereaux (John Hurt). Ben has been left totally paralyzed and unable to speak after an apparent stroke. Ben’s wife Violet (Gena Rowlands) is a shrewd, old fashioned southern woman who is suspicious of Caroline right from the get go. Violet gives Caroline a skeleton key that will open almost every door in the stately Louisiana home, except one. When Caroline is not caring for Ben she spends most of her time exploring the massive house, and in the attic she discovers one door her key won’t open. After forcing her way into the mysterious room, she is shocked to discover bones, spell books and other instruments for practicing Hoodoo. Hoodoo is a mysterious southern art used for protection and healing. Caroline questions Violet about the room, and learns that it belonged to the servants of the previous owners of the home. The servants, Papa Justify (Ronald McCall) and Mama Cecile (Jeryl Prescott) were brutally lynched and killed in the 1920’s when it was discovered they were practicing Hoodoo. Sensing that the dead servants, the mysterious room in the attic and Ben’s condition are somehow related Caroline sets out to unlock the mysteries the house holds.
Considering the acting talent in this movie, the film is a big let down. John Hurt is an excellent actor and does good work here, but Peter Sarsgaard who is also an excellent actor, feels very underused in this movie. To me, The Skeleton Key was just a lot of wasted potential. It had an interesting enough premise, but just failed to deliver in nearly every way. Rather than trying something new, the movie sticks to formula, predictable plot devices and scare moments can be seen coming a mile away. Of course the movie wouldn’t be a formula thriller if it did not have an amazing twist at the ending and naturally, it does have a twist. However, when the so-called twist was finally revealed there was a tangible feeling of disappointment in the theatre. The movie desperately wants to be better than it is, and it shows.
What struck me as odd was that Kate Hudson’s character became instantly suspicious about the house. She’s supposed to be a college drop-out and yet she acts more like a private investigator in the movie. Perhaps the only redeeming factor of The Skeleton Key is that Kate is scantily clad in nearly every scene she’s in, running around the house in her underwear, randomly taking showers and the like. I’m not complaining, but it struck me as a little gratuitous at times.
I wanted the movie to be good, I really did… But it was so bland and predictable that I couldn’t enjoy it. For example, in one scene Caroline stops at a run down gas station on her way to the mansion and you just knew that some jittery local was going to come out and warn her about that haunted Devereaux place. I found myself able to tell exactly what was going to happen next. A good movie in this genre should keep you guessing, and The Skeleton Key keeps no secrets from the audience.
Have you seen a horror/thriller movie in the past 5 years? If the answer is yes, then you’ve already seen The Skeleton Key. There’s nothing new to be seen here. In fact you’ve seen it done better in movies like The Sixth Sense and The Gift. I didn’t know what to expect from this movie, but having seen it I can say I was soundly underwhelmed. (4 out of 10)
Movie Review #4: Batman Begins
Batman Begins is a new start for the Batman franchise. Gone is the gothic vision of the Tim Burton films. Forgotten are the reprehensible Joel Schumacher sequels. What remains is director Christopher Nolan’’s take on the franchise – and man does it work. Nolan’’s previous works includes Memento and Insomnia, and what made those films great is present in Batman Begins. The film is not a prequel, but rather a fresh start for the franchise – Batman is finally given a proper origin story. Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale), billionaire heir to the Wayne family fortune, distraught and confused after the murder of his parents at the hands of a common crook seeks to put his past behind him. Gotham City has become a cesspool of urban decay and corruption. Disgusted by the way things are going in Gotham, Bruce leaves the city without telling anyone and is presumed dead. His destination is an unnamed Asian country, where he falls under the tutelage of Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson). Ducard belongs to a mysterious group known as the League of Shadows, a group dedicated to ridding the world of evil and corruption. For years Bruce hones his martial skills as a ‘‘means to fight injustice’’. He intends to return to Gotham and make things right. Bruce believes that a man can only do so much, but if he can make himself into a symbol, something people can believe in, he will be able to help Gotham City and do his parents justice. He takes up the mantle of the Dark Knight – he becomes Batman.
Batman Begins is more about Bruce Wayne than Batman. Wayne has always played second fiddle to the Caped Crusader in the films, but here we learn more about his past and the reasons he has become Batman. The film is a smart, very much character driven piece, as opposed to the comic book feel of the last 4 films. The cast is a veritable who’’s who of great actors – there isn’’t a bad performance in the movie. Of particular note are Christian Bale, Liam Neeson and Gary Oldman. Bale has the perfect brooding air about him to play Batman, and at the same time plays Bruce Wayne with all the pompous billionaire behaviour you’’d expect from him. Gary Oldman, in an odd turn, plays it straight for the entire movie as Sergeant (soon to be Commissioner) Gordon. Cillian Murphy gives an incredibly creepy performance as Dr. Jonathan Crane/The Scarecrow. When the effects of The Scarecrow’’s hallucinogenic drugs are seen on screen it is truly disturbing – definitely not for a kids movie. Nolan’’s direction gives the franchise what it has been lacking in the past – realism. Watching the movie you actually feel like it’’s plausible for this guy to run around fighting crime in a giant bat costume. There are too many other really cool things about this movie to describe and it would take paragraphs to explain them all.
On the downside, the movie is a little slow in parts, but the action sequences more than make up for this. The Batmobile chase scene is one of the highlights of the film. You’’ll be on the edge of your seat from start to finish. One problem people may have with the movie is that there isn’’t a lot of Batman in the movie. Bruce Wayne does not don the cape and cowl until about halfway through the movie. Some may have qualms with this, but I didn’’t mind it as it made sense in the context of the story.
This is the Batman movie fans have been waiting for. It is very evident the movie has been influenced by the darker side of the Batman universe. The film is dark, brooding and gritty – and feels real. The acting is top notch, and the movie as a whole is just really interesting to watch. The movie is less about the crazy villain of the week, and more about a man, Bruce Wayne and his alter ego Batman, coming to terms with his past and trying to make a difference. (8.5 out of 10)
Movie Review: House of Wax
House of Wax bears more of a resemblance to classic 80’s teen slasher flicks than the original Vincent Price film. If the filmmakers had intended to make a generic slasher flick, then they most definitely succeeded. The movie takes a very standard (if overused) approach to the horror genre – take a group of hapless, sex crazed teens and pit them against of psychopath of some kind. A group of teens on a road trip to the biggest college football game of the year, decide to take an ill fated short cut through rural Louisiana. Naturally, car troubles force the group to camp out on the outskirts of a mysterious small town. While the rest of the group waits at the camp site, Carly (Elisha Cuthbert) and her boyfriend Wade (Jared Padalecki) head into town to find the local mechanic, Bo (Brian Van Holt). The town it seems is best known for its world famous House of Wax. Predictably, Carly and Wade decide to snoop around the creepy House despite the sign saying that it is closed. If there is one thing protagonists in a horror film should not do it’s tread on the psycho’s property. What follows is a predictable kill fest in which many of the teens are systematically stalked and killed in various, mildly amusing ways.
What can I say about this movie that I liked? Not a lot. Elisha Cuthbert and Paris Hilton looked extremely good throughout the film, up to and including Paris’s much talked about death scene. Cuthbert for me was the highlight of the movie. In the tradition of the horror genre she gives a strong Jamie Lee Curtis-esque performance, including lots of scantily clad running around and screaming. The rest of the cast is just so-so – you don’t care enough about them, so when the killer finally catches up with them you’ll find yourself quite underwhelmed. The movie does have a few standout parts, but they aren’t enough to make you forget how mediocre the rest of the film is. One involves a finger and a pair of wire cutters, and the other is the climax when the House of Wax melts. The latter sequence was extremely well executed, but can’t make up for the rest of the film’s shortcomings.
Paris Hilton is not an actress, and it shows. She plays Paige, a non-wealthy version of herself and fairs about as well against a knife wielding maniac as you’d expect. A good horror movie makes you care about the characters, so that when they meet their untimely end you actually give a crap. House of Wax does not succeed in this respect. In fact, you welcome the deaths of the many throwaway characters in the film. Scare moments in the movie are way too predictable and are overused. I could go on for paragraphs about the myriad other problems House of Wax suffers from, but I’d be wasting my time and yours.
If you’re in the mood for a mindless slasher movie this weekend go see House of Wax. The movie takes a tired, overused formula and brings nothing new to the genre. The girls are hot, but that is about all the movie has going for it. Perhaps a more apt title for House of Wax would be Beautiful People are Slaughtered by Knife Wielding Maniacs. Sure, Paris Hilton with a pole through her head is funny – it’s just not worth your ten dollars. (3 out of 10)
Movie Review: Kontroll
When one thinks of countries that produce good films, Hungary does not often come to mind. The surreal film Kontroll from first time director Nimrod Antal aims to change that perception. Kontroll centres on a rag-tag group of ticket inspectors (kontroll agents) who work under less than ideal conditions in the Budapest subway system. One of these inspectors, a downtrodden young man named Bulcsu (Sandor Csanyi) is homeless and spends 24 hours a day underground, living and working in the subway system. The job of kontroll agent is not an easy one. Bulcsu and his fellow inspectors have to put up with angry superiors, violent hooligans, clueless tourists and rival ticket inspection teams on a daily basis. Through a series of chance encounters, Bulcsu befriends a beautiful young woman Szofi (Eszter Balla), who for whatever reason always wears a giant bear suit while riding the subway. At night, Bulcsu wanders the tunnels and furthest depths of the underground, all the while plagued by an ever present shadowy figure, who may or may not be a figment of his imagination. The depression and confusion associated with working and living underground is beginning to take its toll on Bulcsu. He hasn’t seen the light of day in months and begins to question the course his life has taken. Things take a turn for the worse after a series of deaths caused by a pusher – and Bulcsu is the prime suspect. Immediately, Bulcsu begins to suspect that the shadowy figure who has been stalking him is behind the murders. Bulcsu now has a purpose in life, with the help of Szofi and his fellow kontroll agents he sets out to catch the shadow in the act, and in the process clear his name.
If only all first time directors could be as lucky as Nimrod Antal. Kontroll works so well, in so many ways. The story has a darker tone, but there is definitely a lot of laughs in this movie. The supporting cast is stellar, and work so well you’d swear they really were kontroll agents. As for the two lead characters of Bulcsu and Szofi, Sandor Csanyi and Eszter Balla have an on screen chemistry that is very difficult to capture on film, but Antal gets it. Perhaps the strongest character in the film is the location. Shot on location in the Budapest subway system, the tunnels and stations have a life of their own. Antal seems to have found some of the most eerie and crazy underground locales ever put on film. The cinematography was amazing, it helped capture the dreary, vastness of the underground. Also, the soundtrack was very cool and it suits the tone of the film perfectly. One sequence of the film stood out in my mind, the rail run. Bulcsu and a rival inspector attempt to race one another on foot between two subway stations, this bit will have you on the edge of your seats.
My only real qualm with the film was that some of the more abstract elements were not explained as well as they could have been. Nimrod Antal said he did this on purpose to leave things open for interpretation, but sometimes I want a director to tell me what he’s really trying to get at. Other than that, some people may take issue with the fact that the movie is subtitled, but I don’t think I would have liked the movie as much if the voices had been dubbed.
Kontroll is the kind of movie destined for cult status. The movie is dark, moody, serious and funny all at the same time. It is definitely not a movie for everybody. But if you’re in the mood for something different this weekend check out Kontroll. You will be in store for a unique film experience, guaranteed. (9 out of 10)
Movie Review: Constantine
First time movie director Francis Lawrence brings us Constantine. Keanu Reeves stars as the titular John Constantine, a supernatural private eye of sorts on a mission to rid the world of evil and save his soul from the powers of Hell. Based off of the DC/Vertigo comic book Hellblazer, Constantine is set in a world where the forces of Heaven and Hell battle for control of humanity. John Constantine and a select few are the only ones aware of this eternal struggle, and do what they can to keep things in balance. While investigating the mysterious death of her sister, a chance meeting between Detective Angela Dawson (Rachel Weisz) and Constantine starts a mysterious chain of events that threatens to tip the balance in Hell’s favour. Stricken with lung cancer, and walking the thin line between good and evil, John Constantine must redeem himself in the eyes of Heaven, or spend an eternity in Hell.
I was very happy to see Keanu Reeves playing an anti-hero. Too often he plays the “Who? What? Why?” protagonist, always guessing and never quite knowing what he’s doing. But in Constantine, the character has been around the block, he doesn’t like what he does for a living, but he knows it has to be done. Reeves gave a very strong performance as John Constantine, a chain smoking, cancer ridden, loner who has a bone to pick with Lucifer. The bright spot of the movie has to be Rachel Weisz. She plays the newcomer to this strange, hidden battle of good versus evil, the audience is with her character every step of the way, never knowing what to expect next from this unique story.
I also liked Constantine for what it tried to be. A concept like this has a lot of potential, and there were many cool scenes… But it just never seemed to deliver. The movie just failed to convert on the many opportunities for coolness it was afforded by the comic book. The hidden underworld of Angels and Demons was under-used, and Hell as a setting was over-used and you barely even catch a glimpse of Heaven. The scenes in Hell were horrific at first, but it kept coming into play throughout the movie. After a while you just said to yourself, “Oh… We’re back here again are we?”. There are other sporadic problems with the movie. The dialogue is mumbling at times, and some of the scenes made little sense. Perhaps this was intentional, but I like to have some idea what is going on by the time the climax rolls around.
Constantine is an entertaining movie. You can’t hold it against the movie for trying too hard. The things that work in the film work very well, and those that don’t, fall flat but don’t weigh too heavily on the rest of the movie. Fans of the comic book will have many qualms with the movie version, but given that John Constantine is not the most well known comic book character, it won’t matter to most. The hardcore fans can rest easy knowing that nobody else really cares that Keanu Reeves isn’t a wise cracking, blonde, haired Briton, as the character was portrayed in the comics. This isn’t The English Patient, but the movie is good entertainment and a lot of fun. (6.5 out of 10)
Movie Review: The Phantom of the Opera
Film musicals have enjoyed a resurgence in recent years with the success of 2002’s Chicago largely responsible for the renewed interest in the genre. The Phantom of the Opera is director Joel Schumacher’s adaptation of Andrew Llyod Webber’s hugely successful stage production of the same name. In this classic tale, the Paris Opera House is being haunted by a disfigured, musical genius known only as the Phantom (Gerard Butler). Christine Daae (Emmy Rossum) is a young chorus girl at the Opera House, who has been learning to sing under the tutelage of the Phantom. He secretly loves Christine, but his disfigurement prevents him from revealing himself to her. Much to the chagrin of the Phantom, the Opera’s patron Raoul begins making romantic overtures towards Christine. The Phantom begins terrorizing the Opera House demanding that Christine be given bigger and bigger roles in the opera productions. When the Opera house does not concede to his demands, the Phantom steals Christine away to his lair in the sewers beneath the Opera House, with Raoul in hot pursuit.
I can only recommend The Phantom of the Opera to fans of the original musical, or fans of musicals in general. That being said the film is excellent at what it is. It retains all of the music and spectacle of the original stage production, while adding all the bells and whistles that a movie adaptation entails. The film is beautiful to look at, and it was obvious that a lot of care and effort went into the production. The chandelier scene alone is worth the price of admission. Performance-wise most of the cast was great. Emmy Rossum, (Who apparently can sing.) is beautiful as Christine, and shines in the role. The stand out performance was given by Gerard Butler as the Phantom. While his singing voice is not ideal for the role, Butler gives a great all-around performance, as a tortured genius who just wants to be loved.
The film is long at nearly two and a half hours and, though it has excellent pacing in certain scenes, it really dragged in parts. It is a difficult task adapting a musical for the big screen. There are some things that work on stage, that don’t necessarily work all that well on film, in particular the sewer scenes, and the phantom’s lair. The singing seemed to begin very randomly in parts, and actually felt out of place in a few scenes. The cast overall was fairly solid, but there were a few wooden performances. Schumacher seems swept up in the vision of the film, but does not pay enough attention to the end result.
I’m no fan of musicals, but The Phantom of the Opera is an exception for me. The choice of director had me worried at first. I honestly didn’t know what to expect from this movie, but Joel “I Ruined Batman” Schumacher came through this time. The Phantom of the Opera is quite enjoyable and incredibly well presented. However, the length of the film combined with the fact that it is a musical will limit it’s appeal. (7 out of 10)
Movie Review: Team America World Police
The creators of South Park, Matt Stone and Trey Parker bring us Team America : World Police, a political knock out blow featuring an all marionette cast. Team America is an all American police force dedicated to ridding the world of terrorism… No matter the cost. As soon as the explosive credits end we find ourselves in Paris. A group of terrorists has a weapon of mass destruction and is planning to destroy the city. After an extended action sequence featuring a puppet fist fight and the destruction of numerous Paris landmarks, Team America is victorious and the terrorists have been stopped. However, an even greater threat is growing. Soon after, the team enlists the help of actor Gary Johnston. Gary is a rising broadway star, and the team needs an actor good enough to infiltrate the terrorists stronghold in Cairo. He performs his role flawlessly and uncovers the terrorists sinister plan. North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il has been supplying the terrorists with weapons of mass destruction. With the help of left wing Hollywood stars and Michael Moore, the diminutive dictator is hell bent on destroying the world and with it Team America. With the fate of the planet hanging in the balance, it will be up to Gary to save the day.
Team America is definitely not for everyone. If you’re a fan of South Park, then this movie will be right up your alley. Much like South Park : Bigger, Longer and Uncut, Stone and Parker up the ante in their never-ending quest to skirt the line of good taste. From the opening ballad “AMERICA! F$*# YEAH!” to the numerous slow motion puppet deaths, the film is a riot. I’ve never seen such graphic portrayals of puppet sex or violence in a movie, and probably never will again. I was amazed at how well the puppets worked in the film. With all the technology available, hyper-realistic puppets could have been used. However, Parker and Stone wanted to go for the classic “Thunderbirds” look, and no effort has been made to hide the strings and wires used to move the marionettes. You are consciously aware that you are watching a puppet movie throughout, and it makes the film even funnier.
The movie doesn’t disappoint for the most part. There are a few weak jokes here and there, but for the most part every funny bit is dead on. People may be offended by the broad generalizations and stereotypes in the film. If you’re looking for a fair and balanced opinion of the world, you’re in the wrong movie. The movie pulls no punches, taking shots at everything from the Kim Jong Il’s insane loneliness, to Michael Moore’s weight problem. Also, much of the dialogue is ripped right out of Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Bay movies. When the lines are recited by puppets you really see how bad some of the dialogue in those blockbusters really is.
If you object to gratuitous puppet sex, acts of puppet on puppet violence, swearing puppets, drunken puppets or North Korean dictators singing show tunes… Team America is not for you. But if any of this piques your interest… Go see Team America, and have a good laugh while you’re at it. The movie will offend you, disgust you and shock you, but you’ll love it all the same. (8 out of 10)






