Movie Review: Clerks 2
Clerks II marks the much-anticipated return to the big screen of lovable minimum wage heroes, Dante and Randal. The Quick Stop from 1994’s movie has been destroyed by a fire and the boys now find themselves in their 30’s and working at a fast food joint called Mooby’s. We join the volatile friends on Dante’s last day at the burger shop as he will be making the big move from New Jersey to Florida with his fiance Emma (played by Kevin Smith’s wife, Jennifer). This does not sit particularly well with Randal, who will be stuck working at Mooby’s with the restaurant’s vivacious manager Becky (Rosario Dawson) and a bible-thumping, Lord-of-the-Rings-loving and self-proclaimed Transformer guru named Elias (Trevor Fehrman). Nevertheless, he has embraced the fact that his best friend is leaving and plans to send him off with a farewell of epic proportions. Of course, with the Quick Stop closed down, Jay and Silent Bob have also moved their headquarters and are now loitering and doing whatever else it is that they do at the new location as well.
Much like Clerks, Clerks II is a movie based mostly on the witty and obscene banter between Randal and Dante with Becky and Elias and pretty much every customer who dares to venture through the doors of Mooby’s now thrown into the mix. Some of the topics of interest thrown about include an animated debate on the issue of “ass-to-mouth”, a controversy about the term “porch monkey”, some strong words about disabled people, an explanation of the term “pillow pants” and best of all, a geek’s comparison between Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. As in Clerks, a lot of this dialogue is funny, some of it misses by a country mile and not all of it is for everyone. In fact, I have to warn you, if you are sensitive to the words that enter your ears, do not see this movie. And if you plan on bringing someone who you might consider sensitive, I strongly suggest you reconsider. Clerks II is about as vulgar as it gets. In fact, there’s a whole scenerio involving a donkey and a fat dude dressed in leather that I really don’t understand why it was put in the movie. I will go so far as to say it was downright disgusting and unnecessary. It’s one thing to joke about beastiality but to spend money from your budget filming it and having the actual donkey on the screen? Seriously Kevin, after 12 years, that’s the best you could come up with? It wasn’t enough to make me want to walk out of the movie but it really disappointed me and this is coming from a person who can pretty much laugh at anything and everything, believe it or not. And worst of all, there was some guy sitting in front of me during the movie and he had his two young kids with him and by young, one of them looked about 7 or 8 years old and the other maybe about 12. The guy should have been reported to child services. I saw the kids walking out of the theater and they looked shell-shocked. Yep, the so-called father sat there with them right to the bitter end. I’m sure that this movie will receive at least an “R” rating but I guess because I attended a private screening, this guy figured it was okay to bring his kids. Idiot.
Anyways, I like Kevin Smith movies. I liked Clerks, Mallrats, was luke-warm about Dogma, loved Jay and Silent Bob Strke Back, hell, I even liked Jersey Girl. I just checked and I gave Jersey Girl a 7 out of 10 and from everything I have read, even Kevin hated that movie. But Clerks II was a bit of a disappointment for me. Yeah, it had some funny moments. I loved the LOTR vs. Star Wars stuff. I even didn’t mind the musical montage the featured the Jackson Five’s ABC. But that whole donkey bullshit really threw me off. Maybe the dude in front of me with the kids was a distraction but even now when I think about it I just feel disgusted. And what I don’t understand even more is that this movie apparently got an 8-minute standing ovation at Cannes. Unbelievable. I’m surprised that half the audience didn’t get up and walk out!
Maybe I’m way off on this one because I’ve read nothing but glowing reviews of Clerks II but this movie just didn’t do it for me. In some ways, I wonder, in the geeky, girlfriendless world of movie-lovers and reviewers, if it is sacreligious to not like a Kevin Smith movie (except, of course, when he himself says he doesn’t like the movie ie. Jersey Girl) because Kevin Smith seems to represent every blue collar, fan boy, movie geek, that exists in the world today. Then again, maybe it was just a bad day and I need to see Clerks II again because I just didn’t get it. I guess beastiality just isn’t my thing. (4 out of 10)
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